Seeking and Finding the Way – My Way

This is my first blog; of course, I was supposed to do it yesterday, but lol, my body and mind can’t keep up like it used to.

But I digress…..

For the past few weeks, I have been getting signs about concentrating on my writing by perfecting and researching my craft. A friend of mine was sharing with me how writing is more than a hobby. And I agree with her. My writing has always been more than just a hobby to me. I’ve very passionate about it.

I’ve been writing poetry for 15 + years now, but I was never really confident about it. Back then it was more of a therapeutic release; I had a problem expressing myself, and nobody listened to me. I was the quiet, wall flower – the good girl. Pretty soon, that was my label.  Poetry means more to me than many will ever grasp. It saved my life -it also led me to discovering a similar passion and respect for English. Yea, I said it….KML, I did not like English when I was younger. I loved to read, but I hated English. LOL, now….I have to discipline myself to read and I love English.

I have 3 degrees: 2 Associates and a BA. Since I had the 2 Associates, I focused on getting a real job, making money, and kinda help me climb up the ladder. But after a few years, I still have been unable to get a (what my mom would call) “real” job. I became depressed, stressed…..and one day, when I tried to write…for the first time, I lost my voice, my perspective, etc.

This past year has been a journey for me – A journey of self- discovery.  I gave so much of myself to people in general, sacrificed, and I never thought about it until now. I used to get frustrated because I do not like to sit still. I’m used to being busy, on the go, etc. But I’m grateful that God made me sit still and actually think what I want for myself. Not what everybody else want, but what I want for myself.

I still don’t have a job….yet. But I have been focusing more on my writing and what I want to pursue as a career. I want to become a CopyEditor. Still researching what to do to become one and how in the world I’m going to get experience. It’s a process -Process is progress.

I had to learn that failure is the process for success – that’s one of my fears being a failure. No, things did not or have not worked out the way I was hoping. However, I am praying that God just continue to lead and guide me down this path.

Although, I still want a job, I’m still going to work toward become a CopyEditor. I want to be happy and passionate in my field – my career. I refuse to do “Another day, another dollar.”

I do feel like I’m always trying to play catch up with people who are either already married, children, homes, careers, etc and all that. But now, I’m back to the original “Slow and steady wins the race.” “The race is not given to the swift but to the one who can endure.” (Yea, that’s a verse from the Bible, and I paraphrased it; but ,don’t ask me what Chapter, Verse, or Book ). KML.

Additionally, I am interested in Taoism – the way. I believe in following your own path; everyone’s path is not yours vice versa for somebody wanting your path. You have to find your OWN WAY – that’s what I’m doing seeking, finding my way. And I must say I’m more at peace now than I have been in years.

I don’t know where it’s going to lead or what the destination maybe, but I’m walking.