Dream Chasing: Happiness Or The Mundane?

This will not be a long blog entry, but I’m rather fed up with crying.

For those that don’t know, I recently decided that I wanted to be a Copy Editor; however, after all the research in the world, I’m still on ground zero. Frustration set in, and I’ve just been cranky for almost 2 weeks. Then, I decided that I wanted to start my own editing services and other services with a couple of emphasis in other areas of writing. I have been doing a few projects to build my confidence as a writer and a person. But I had a client that wanted me to edit his book; however, distractions happened.

With this new job, it’s taking all of my time and drains the energy out of me more than I thought. So to make a long story super short, I lost my client; he found someone else. He felt bad for not telling me, but I just told him it was a business move. He had a book to get done. So, of course finding someone else to do it was the logical choice.

So I’m sitting at this job thinking: I got a “real” job to help pay my bills or just to get by, and I’m probably going to die with it.

Ironic, when I didn’t have a job, I had all the time in the world. I researched, made calls to connect with someone to point me in the right direction, and I couldn’t get anyone to help me. Now, I have a job. I just don’t have the time. I’m either always tired or distractions occur, and I’m always having to choose to being realistic or the mundane versus what I want to do that’s going to finally make me happy and fulfilled.

Now, I see that this “dream” was just a waste of time. No matter what I’ve done or am doing, I’m not getting anywhere, just like a treadmill. I’ve just been straight dream chasing, hoping to obtain a little something. Hope, high ground, or whatever the case maybe.

I guess my mom was right about a “real job.”  Guess I will be forced to live the “mundane” in stead of a career I could be passionate, happy with.

All the hard work over the years til now, and I still haven’t gotten anywhere. Oh, yea just to say, “I’ve got a real job.”

At least in my dream world, I’m happy with my house, my black or blue Chow Chow puppy, and just simply enjoying it…

Till I wake up and return to the REAL world,- dying a very slow, agonizing death.

11 thoughts on “Dream Chasing: Happiness Or The Mundane?

  1. Hey Cuz. I just want to let you know that nothing is ever a waste. You are working as hard as you can and nothing is ever easy. Just stay strong and keep pressing for the best. You will make it possible. I’m always here. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. it will love. I know for a fact it will. I’m also have troubles too but I know there is a finish line at the end of this road and that also go for you too. you are too close too let it ride off that easily. you have came so far too…girl!! you got this love. TRUST!!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG, first of all, I just want to say that it’s an honor, Ms. Marianne. I’m a huge fan of you Heaven Awaits page!! So thank you so much!!

      2nd, would you mind telling me what vocational counseling is? This is my first time hearing about it.


      1. Vocational counseling is what it sounds like. they will do aptitude and attitude testing to see what kind of careers that would best fit you. I remember taking these tests in college to see if I was majoring in the right areas.

        here are some links







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